


Luhan and the Golden Egg

by shinealightrose



Series: Easter Bunny Tales [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, Easter Bunnies Xiuhan, Easter Bunnies!, Fluff and Crack, Kyungsoo is a giant Goose, M/M, fairy tale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 10:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6325180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinealightrose/pseuds/shinealightrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luhan is a bunny, an Easter Bunny to be specific. Not the Easter Bunny, because there are many. But he is craving an Easter Bunny mate, and supposedly only a golden egg will point the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Luhan and the Golden Egg

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Yes, Easter Bunnies. Also eggs, man-sized geese, and so much bunny fluff you may choke. A bit of crack.

Luhan... is a bunny. There's really no other way you can define it, and of course it's kind of obvious if you look at him. What with his long ears, more hare-like sometimes than rabbitty, the whiskers on his cheeks, golden hair, the furry fluff ball of a tail he has to fit through his pants (and sometimes overalls), it's a dead give away. Not that Luhan wants to be a dead bunny. Far from it. Luhan wants to live a long bunny life.

He's actually a tiny bit more human than bunny, but still the full-blooded humans scoff at him three hundred and sixty four days a year. It's hurtful, and just a little bit saddening, but he knows that they'll love him on at least one day of the year. It's his favorite day of the year too. The day when all doors and back yards and picnics and barbecues are suddenly open to him, gates open wide with parents smiling in relief because Luhan is the Easter Bunny, and if he shows up at their doors, then that's less candy they have to provide for their own spoiled little children. 

Not that Luhan hates children. Far from it. In fact, he wants children. Lots and lots of little bunny children, because bunnies are supposed to have lots of babies. But Luhan needs an Easter Bunny mate before can have Easter Bunny babies. Of course he's been looking, but Easter Bunnies are elusive creatures by nature. So what if Luhan is a little bit more outgoing than most in order that people will 'accidentally' spot him and spread the stories of his majestic bunny grandeur, and then his perfect future bunny mate will know where to look for him. 

But perhaps that's tempting or ignoring fate a little bit. Maybe Luhan isn't supposed to look so far? He's not supposed to be looking for a mate...

He's supposed to be looking for the golden egg. 

Because the day he finds the golden egg, that'll be the day... the day his mate will appear to him, or find him, or wander into him, or trip him accidentally and they'll land in a cute heap of bunny ears and splattered Easter baskets and suddenly they'll know that they are destined for one another. And then it'll be happily ever after and Luhan can get to work having lots of Easter Bunny babies who he'll love and nurture along with his Easter Bunny mate so that they too can one day grow up and spread across the world delivering joy and candy to human children across the globe. 

The golden egg will sparkle and shine like it's on fire by a million diamonds, and that's how he'll know... that his mate is nearby...

Centuries and centuries ago that theory used work more easily. But then humans turned into a weird lot, and now around this holiday which  _they_  named after  _him_ , him and his bunny ancestors, Luhan has a bit of a hard time. Because he finds a lot of golden eggs these days... and each and every last one that Luhan has picked up sparkled in the sunlight.

The first time it happened Luhan rejoiced, and he hopped in place and his ears flopped comically, and he temporarily forgot he was supposed to be spreading joy and candy, so wrapped up he was with his own imminent joy. But there was no mate around. Luhan looked high and low, and between every blade of grass and in every basket to find his mate. And that's when he realized, his golden egg was made from artificial paint and glitter. It wasn't magical at all. Not one drop of bunny magic, and  _it wasn't fair..._

These days he knows better. He knows that most colorfully decorated eggs are plastic and hollow, and still they are pretty so he doesn't mind them too much. He's traded out using real eggs and boiled eggs for the plastic empty eggs that people so cherish in this generation. See, he's accomodating. And adaptable. He can wait patiently for his mate, although he still checks each golden egg he finds super close to make sure it's not a real one. No one ever said Luhan had to be pessimistically skeptical. What's the point of being an Easter Bunny, herald of spring and of new life and growth, if he's a skeptical bunny? No point, that is the truth. 

So when one day he finds a golden egg lying around seemingly by itself near a farmhouse gate, he cautiously picks it up and rolls it around in his furry half-hand half-bunny-paw. It feels like a real egg, not one of those plastic fakes, and also it's definitely not a boiled egg. This egg has life in it, he can feel it, sense it. He just doesn't know what he's supposed to be sensing. 

Is this the egg? Is this the one? It sparkles, it shines, it gives Luhan stomach flurries because what if... what if...?

Luhan has barely seen another Easter Bunny since the day he left home and began his wandering, Luhan: herald of spring and... fertility? Luhan and dozens and his brothers and sisters all left around the same time, each taking a different point of the compass and marching on. Once a few years ago he ran into one brother, his fiercest brother with eyes like a cat. Not that Tao was a cat. In fact, Tao effectively scared every cat he ever came across despite his propensity to want to love them. They were crossing paths when they met up at a wellfount, and Luhan had just enough time for a quick catch-up session and to meet Tao's cute little puppy named Candy, the only pet he could find that wasn't scared of him. Tao hadn't found his mate yet either. They made plans to recross each other's paths in a few years time and see if anything had changed.

Now, holding a real golden egg in his palm, Luhan wonders if the next time he meets Tao he will be able to introduce him to his mate. And maybe a half dozen bunny babies because nothing would be cuter! Except if Tao has a similar mate and similar bunny children, and then they can all be pals. The children would play until they passed out and sleep in a heap of soft downy bunny fur while Luhan and his mate, and Tao and his mate, would look on affectionately. What a perfect vision and goal... 

Luhan is almost drowned in it, thoughts of bunny babies, his golden egg tucked safely into his basket, a funny half smile upon his lips and his head drooping to one side, dreamy eyes, and ears flopping down behind his cheeks. He almost doesn't hear something scurrying up the pathway below him, just out of sight around a bend, and frantically counting... something.

"Two eggs. Two eggs found! My babies!" comes a voice, frustrated but full of passion.

Luhan tilts his head back upright, nose twitching at the commotion of an apparently frantic parent of eggs.

"Three eggs. Three eggs found! My precious children!" it calls again. "Now where is the fourth... Fourth baby, where are you...? Ahh! Rejoice, for there you are!"

Luhan almost rejoices with him, because a male it definitely is. What is still unknown is the origin or species of the parent. Plenty of magical animals laid eggs, just like Easter Bunnies did, but this didn't sound like a bunny. In fact... it sounded a little like...

The parent quacks with glee a moment later. "Five! Oh five of my children recovered! Now where are the rest," the goose continues his search, almost snarling with panic. He repeated the count of, "One two three four five. Red yellow blue green and purple. Two more. Only two more."

The flurries Luhan felt in his stomach just minutes before start to ache with compassion instead. A father goose who lost his children, of all the most unfortunate things to behold... Luhan almost can't stand it. Children are precious things. Eggs are precious things. He can't even imagine the hurt it must feel to be forced into searching for your lost eggs. Who would do such a thing? Who would steal a father's eggs?

"Silver! Oh silver, baby, you are found! Now if I only find the person who did this I will take him by the neck and  _wring it._   _Wring_ his little neck!" 

Luhan stands still, nodding happily because yes indeed, this is what he would do too. Wring his little neck! 

"One more. One more. Oh, where is my golden egg?!" 

The world turns slowly in that moment, as Luhan notices a few spiky black hairs starting to appear above the shrubs as the father goose makes its way towards Luhan, where Luhan stands... a golden egg in his basket. They say it's flight or fright, and it's definitely the latter instinct which roots Luhan to the ground, a guilt-wove expression when the goose finally appears in his line of vision, and he in the goose's. 

Both freeze actually, and Luhan would feign no knowledge of golden eggs except the shimmering egg in his basket is now giving off a brighter glow than previous. Luhan and the goose are acutely aware of what's in Luhan's basket... The goose gently lowers his own basket to the ground, and Luhan briefly counts the six brightly colored eggs before glancing over to the carrier where a man-sized goose with strangely wide, human eyes stares back at him. He's mad, of that Luhan can tell. His feathers in a fluster, and his eyes narrowed, and if this were a cartoon then perhaps there would be steam coming from its ears, not that Luhan actually know where the ears are on a goose of this size and...

"Thief!" the goose suddenly sqawks. "Thief! You've stolen my eggs! My children! You've stolen them! Thief!" 

And Luhan bolts. 

His basket clenched within his arms, a hand protectively over the eggs there so they don't fall out, he runs as fast as his bunny feet can take him, hopping every few steps to get a few jumps ahead. The goose waddles, but according to the couple times Luhan dares to look back, he notes with a wave of terror that it's waddling awfully fast! 

"My egg! My golden egg! Stop right there, you egg thief, you!"

But Luhan's too terrified to stop. He doesn't want to get mauled by a goose. Geese can be ravenous! Horrible at poking people and bunnies alike, and they take no prisoner. It's all or nothing to a goose, and Luhan definitely won't live to have bunny babies with his mate he hasn't yet found if he lets that thing get anywhere close to him.

He doesn't really consider that if maybe he relinquishes the egg then maybe the goose will relent and leave him alone. His golden egg, and yes, Luhan is starting to think of it as his, is truly shining brighter with every footstep and hop he takes which means this is definitely the one! It's a real golden egg, goose egg or not, and so his mate must be near. He  _must_ be near! And Luhan's not going to give back so easily the only thing that may be his token to finding a mate!

He runs, skips, hops, even tosses back a few plastic eggs as a distraction, although none are golden and the goose isn't fooled. It keeps yelling, squawking and hollering, and Luhan feels bad. He really does.  _But_... And that's a big  _but_ , so he quits thinking and continues to dash away, ever protective of his glowing golden egg and chanting  _mate, mate, mate, where are you?!_  in his head.

And in this manner, he finds his mate.

Trips over him actually, or rather collides right into him. Luhan had just dared one glance back to see how far behind the goose was - the gap had widened but the father goose was still very much in pursuit - when he runs into something soft and fluffy that takes up most of his vision. 

"My egg, no!" Luhan screeches as he falls, clutching the basket and the egg to his stomach because even in a moment of panic and confusion, he definitely does not want to see the egg-baby crushed on account of him. 

"My egg!" cries the goose as well. 

It ends in a thud and a crash with plastic eggs spewing all over the lane, but the golden egg is safe and practically vibrating with energy. When Luhan clutches his head and tries to make sense of the situation, terrified still of the goose, he almost doesn't register why the egg is humming until he catches the vision before him. 

An Easter Bunny.

A real, life, not-related Easter Bunny.

And he is gorgeous!

Pink hair and pink skin and long curling whiskers gracing the cutest bunny body ever, what with his plaid checkered shirt tucked into a nice pair of jeans, and pink fuzzy tail escaping out of the back.

" _My mate_ ," Luhan coos and watches as the adorable bunny blushes bright red, eyes wide and blinking rapidly. 

"Mate?" asks the bunny in return. He acts confused, even though the golden egg in between them should signify everything they don't have to answer.

"My name's Luhan," he replies quickly, too quickly, and nodding furiously because his mate looks so flustered and cautiously giddy. Luhan absolutely can't wait until he's allowed to kiss him, or else just see those lips stretch wide and smile because he just knows - he knows! Don't ask him how he knows - that his mate will have the absolutely most precious smile in the world!

"Luhan," says the bunny back to him, trying out the name, and this time it's Luhan who wants to blush, and then desperately ask him what  _his_ name is. 

Except...

"Egg thief!"

That's not Luhan's name. It's also probably not the other bunny's name, but it  _is_  his current title according to squawking father goose and  _uh oh_  - Luhan is in trouble now!

"You're an egg thief?" the bunny looks crushed, and Luhan panics.

"No! I'm not... It's just-"

Whack! comes a rush of goose-feathered wings crashing over his head. "Give it back! My egg! My golden egg!"

Luhan curls over the egg protectively, more to protect  _it_ than to save himself. His mate looks on incredulously and Luhan hastens to explain.

"It's a golden egg! I didn't-" 

_Whack!_

"-Steal it! I found it! It's a golden egg that would lead me to-" 

_Whack!_

"...to you!"

In between the barrage of feathers, he thinks he sees his mate understand, and then he too is looking up at the goose in fright, glancing between them both as if to decide what next to do. He tries reasoning with it first.

"Father Goose, wait! I think there's been a misunderstanding here."

"There is no-"

_Whack!_

"-misunderstanding. This thing stole my egg!"

"No no no, he didn't steal it!" Luhan's mate tries to explain. "Look, we'll give it back! Just..."

But the moment he says  _we_  the goose freezes, turns his back on Luhan and considers the other bunny with a menacing look. "We?" it demands. "We? As you both of you conspired to steal my egg!?" 

_Whack!_

Now it's Luhan and his mate both who are doubled over on the lane being attacked by the wild goose. Luhan notices with glee though how the other bunny isn't trying to dodge the attack. In fact, he keeps nudging closer trying to get to Luhan to shield him from the flying goose wings and feathers. Luhan sneezes violently and almost rolls over the egg which is still vibrating and humming and almost... singing? But every time either he or his mate try to pick it off under the ground, cradled under Luhan's tummy, they have to retreat under another smattering of enraged Father Goose smacks. And a couple beak pecks too which frankly hurt!

How long can it go on for? Luhan wonders with a sense of gloom. He just wants to meet his mate properly. He hasn't even gotten his name yet! The golden egg did exactly what it was supposed to do and led him this far, but perhaps they'll die like this, suffocating under a growing mountain of goose feathers? It's not fair! He just wants to form a closer, non-defensive-ring hug circle with this pink haired Easter Bunny so they can move along and get to the kissing and babies part of life. He's so soft too! From what Luhan can feel of the arm that's straining to cover and protect Luhan's neck every time the goose comes down for a jab.

Oh what purposeless scenario is this... where Luhan has his mate and a golden egg but is slowly being whacked and pecked to death by a giant man-sized goose!

And then...

"Soo goose! Soo goose, where are you!?" comes a voice from down the lane, in the direction from which they ran. 

The goose suddenly stops, halted in panic not dissimilar to Luhan's original stance when he got caught 'stealing' eggs. Luhan chances a glance beyond his feet where a human is coming around the bend, an attractive farmer with suntanned skin and longish brown hair partially obscuring his eyes. He's tall, even if denim overalls mask his shape and he doesn't look too mad when he spots his goose attacking a set of Easter Bunnies, frozen mid-swing, but he does sigh really loudly and look disappointed.

"Soo goose, what are you doing?"

The goose slowly lowers its wings, eyes suddenly sad but indignant as he points at the bunnies. "Egg thieves!" He exclaims, and then pouts and his beak starts to wobble. "They stole my eggs, and now this one won't give back my golden egg."

"Soo goose..." says the farmer sadly with a little shake of his head.

Meanwhile Luhan has righted himself until he's sitting on the dirt lane, and his mate beside him sits up too. Luhan notices with a faint gaping heart thump that his mate is holding his hand. They may not even know each other's names completely, but  _his_  mate is holding  _his_  hand! He gushes with pride, while still watching the farmer and his goose.

"Soo goose... the Easter Bunnies didn't steal your eggs..." he explains kindly and in a soft voice.

"They... didn't?" the goose almost cries.

"No, they didn't. I came this way to tell you I've scolded my son for playing a prank on you. He was the one who scattered your eggs. Not the bunnies."

The goose looks mollified for a half second, and then he registers what the farmer just told him. "Wait... You mean BAEKHYUN STOLE MY EGGS! That sniveling three-year-old put his dirty little hands on my eggs! Where is he! Where is he! I'll wring his little neck!"

And so the farmer and the goose squabble a while longer. Meanwhile...

"My name is Minseok."

_Huh?_

Luhan gapes at the other bunny, all of a sudden completely oblivious to the commotion before them. 

"Min-seok," his mate repeats slowly, slow hints of a smile creeping up upon his face.

"I... I... Your name is Minseok..." Luhan is completely flustered, but of course a cute name would accompany a cute bunny like his mate!

"Yes..." says Minseok, a laugh upon his tongue and yes, by every ancient Easter Bunny ancestor, that is the most beautiful, glorious smile ever! Luhan thinks he can swear to that now. 

Probably his eyes are communicating everything his brain cannot compute, because the more he stares the more Minseok seems to want to giggle, and Luhan just knows his heart is on his sleeve, but what else should matter? This is his mate that he's been searching for so long! His precious, wonderful Easter Bunny mate, the father to their future Easter Bunny babies and it's all because of the golden egg that he's found him. The golden egg which... 

"Oh!" Luhan exclaims suddenly. "I should give this back now!" 

He picks it up, shows it to Minseok who nods readily in agreement, urging him on. The farmer and the goose are still arguing about the merits that children need to learn harsh lessons with punishment, yes, but they don't need to have their necks wrung in the process either. Somewhere in the time when Luhan was learning his mate's name and smile, the goose had gotten smaller. It's now half the size it once was, though still a little bristly, as if the presence of his farmer was turning him more into a normal goose. A goose who could still talk and whine and argue.

Luhan gets up, holding out the vibrating golden egg carefully in both of his hands, and approaches the two, Minseok by his side.

"Uhhm, excuse me... Soo goose?" he starts a little soft.

The goose turns around, its long neck and head now level with Luhan's waist. 

"What!" it still squawks unhappily.

"Uhhm, here... is your egg back? I'm sorry for taking it. I didn't mean to actually take it," he apologizes lamely, holding out his hands farther. 

But the goose's eyes light up, not at Luhan's verbal offering but at the golden egg which now... yes, now, it's definitely singing! Unintelligible sounds and phrases and it's blowing and humming with energy.

"I don't know what's wrong with it," Luhan cries, almost horrified at the look of alarm on the goose's face.

"Soo goose!" says the farmer. "Your egg. Quick! It's going to hatch early." 

In another whisk of feathers, the goose snatches the egg away and nearly runs with it to the grassy area next to the fence line. Luhan watches him go, mouth hanging open, frankly mystified when the goose proceeds to sit on him, rumpling up his tail feathers appropriately until he finds a good spot.

"What... what is happening?" Minseok asks the farmer. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"No, nothing wrong. It's just almost about to hatch, but it needs its Father Goose to properly warm and open."

Now that the goose is sitting comfortably, the farmer finally takes a moment to greet the two Easter Bunnies.

"I'm sorry for the attack. It's just that Soo goose is a little protective of his nest... I'm Farmer Kai, by the way." He holds out a friendly hand, calloused from farm work but warm all the same. 

"Luhan," Luhan offers in return.

"Minseok."

"We're Easter Bunnies!" Luhan supplies unhelpfully.

Minseok chortles and Farmer Kai just kind of laughs. "I can see that! I've never met real Easter Bunnies before, so this is a first for me. A pleasure, actually." His smile is warm too, though not as warm as Luhan knows Minseok's is. 

Any further conversation, however, is paused when the goose starts fluttering over its egg and Luhan gets to witness firsthand what a magical goose hatching looks like. He hopes when his own babies are born it'll be just as amazing, because golden goose eggs start by glowing, a brilliant white light that escapes even from under Soo goose's bum. It's almost blinding. Soo goose honks happily at the progress his egg is making and picks up a foot to observe it. A little crack starts to appear in the egg's shell, more blinding white light. Luhan has to shield his eyes. His bunny tail is twitching because he's about to observe the origins of the magic that brought him and his mate together. Beside him, Minseok also looks on eagerly, and Farmer Kai is looking proud as well.

After a few more minutes and more shell cracking, the light recedes suddenly. Soo goose looks down between its feathers in alarm, and Luhan's heart breaks. Did he mess it up? Did he still the light? Is it his fault the gosling isn't coming out of his shell. Minseok clutches his hand, and it really does feel like it's their baby... perhaps dying in its half-open shell.

But then Soo goose prods it, and something chirps! A tiny little goose bill emerges from the shell, a head beyond that, fuzzy and slimy, but Soo goose preens and Farmer Kai sighs and Luhan and Minseok both start making cooing noises as they crowd around the Father Goose and the tiny little baby.

"It's a boy!" Soo goose exclaims. Not that Luhan cares about the gender. He's just so happy to see the little gosling that he didn't crush. It's baby feathers are yellowy, promising a golden coat once it gets cleaned up. 

"Soo goose, we should take him back to the farm. Are you ready? Apologize to the Easter Bunnies now."

The goose doesn't look willing to apologize though, and Luhan is about to tell him, it's okay, that it was Luhan's fault anyways, but Soo goose turns to him sadly.

"Thank you for not stealing my baby."

And Luhan wants to cry, because the goose is actually kind of cute and sweet, and Luhan doesn't forget how he too was agreeing with the goose earlier about wanting to string up the person - in this case a toddler named Baekhyun - who ran off with the goose's eggs.

Farmer Kai pulls out a handkerchief to make a swing for the gosling, which Soo goose is already happily naming Lay, and then Farmer Kai picks up the both of them and starts walking away. As they round the bend down the lane, Luhan notices that the goose is now perfectly normal size, resting happily in the crook of Farmer Kai's arm, the gosling swing with baby Lay held protectively against the farmer's chest. 

"Oh, what a happy end."

Luhan almost forgets that before the commotion, he was doing something. Namely, finding his mate.

He turns to Minseok in a sudden passion, ears flying out like a propeller because, "Minseok! I have actually found you!"

His mate blushes and chuckles and smiles and his ears straighten up and his nose twitches  _oh so cutely_. 

Easter Bunnies are wanderers by nature, nomadic and elusive. But once they find their mates they wander together, hopping about when the season is nice and burrowing down when it's not. Until they have babies, and then they'll find a home and take turns doing their Easter Bunny duties on that one, super happy day a year when they'll be welcomed in every door and backyard and picnic and barbecue, leaving behind cheer and candy for spoiled little human children like Baekhyun who probably doesn't need candy this year, but Luhan wants to leave him some anyway. Because he's the one who scattered the eggs, and without that maybe Luhan wouldn't have found his golden egg, and then he wouldn't have run into Minseok, literally.

"Let's stay here for Easter," Luhan suggests. 

"And come back again for next Easter."

"And the Easter after that."

"And even after that."

And for every year until the time Luhan is scheduled to cross paths with his brother, and yes! Because at that time he'll have something to show for his adventures. He's got Minseok, and he'll have babies, a whole parcel of them! He almost can't contain himself from all these feelings. Without warning, without a word, he takes Minseok by the cheeks, whiskers caught under his palms and slams his lips softly into the other bunny's lips. He sees Minseok's eyes open wide, and his ears stand up even straighter off his head, but then... they soften. And his eyes close, and his lips move, and Luhan smiles. He can't even continue with the kiss because this is everything he hoped for and more. Minseok's bunny paws crushed against Luhan's chest, and his lashes fluttering and brushing against Luhan's. 

"I'm sorry for crashing into you," Luhan whispers against the other's lips.

"You don't have to be sorry for that..."

"I'm sorry for making you think I was an egg thief at first."

"Well, that was an unfortunate misunderstanding."

"I'm sorry for getting you involved and beaten up by a giant man-sized goose."

"It was understandable, but feathers don't really hurt much."

See, his mate really is kind of perfect and amazing and understanding. Even better, he hasn't moved from Luhan's possibly suffocating embrace, although Luhan should probably give him space to breathe in just a second.

"I'm sorry for kissing you..." he whispers even softer.

"Luhan..." and that makes Luhan shiver by the very way his mate says his name. "The only thing you may have to apologize for is if you don't kiss me again."

And so he does.

It'll be an especially Happy Easter this year.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Easter!
> 
> I wrote this last year, and am now cross-posting it here. 
> 
> This completely strange plot actually comes from a prompt my mother requested, something about Easter Bunnies and Xiuhan and a golden egg and I had no idea what to do and so.. I just started to write. After researching the history of the Easter Bunny, and oh - I'm indebted to London_Calling randomly telling me about a golden book called Happy Easter Mother Duck. Of course I changed that plot too, and made the duck a goose because... this is holiday crack and I can do that :p
> 
>  
> 
> Expect a Taohun sequel, Easter 2016. aka this week!


End file.
